Sarah Gilbert Says Roseanne Ruined Her Life: “Nobody Will Hire Me”

Roseanne’s return to the spotlight has been a joy to watch. But few people are paying attention to the “woke” crowd left in her wake.

After a jury handed her control of “The Conners,” she tossed the show in the trash and used her newfound influence to make sure nobody would hire anyone who refused to back her.

Sarah Gilbert, who plays Darlene, was on the top of the list.

“I can’t believe she’s being so petty,” said Gilbert, “Nobody will hire me. All I did was call her a racist like everyone else. I mean, I also too her job, but that’s a different issue. She didn’t need it anymore.”

Gilbert has apparently been looking for a new gig for about two months to no avail. “She’s not exactly A’list,” said Kevin Sorbo, “she had a spot on Big Bang, the child actress thing on Roseanne, and like one other thing ever. Who will even remember her?”

“I always have to ask who she is,” said Gina Carano, “she’s got that familiar face. Like…’wasn’t she in that one show for a season?’ type looks.” Carano says she doubts someone with such a myopic life-view will ever be taken seriously.

Roseanne’s spokesman said she couldn’t care less if Darlene goes broke.

Related Posts

Margaret is pulled over for speeding

Margaret is pulled over for speeding

A police officer pulled over an elderly woman named Margaret for speeding. She rolled down her window and gave the young officer a sweet smile. “Ma’am, do…

The Device on the Breakfast Table: How a Forgotten Vintage Toaster Captured the Dawn of Modern Life

The Device on the Breakfast Table: How a Forgotten Vintage Toaster Captured the Dawn of Modern Life

Nearly a century ago, before kitchens became sleek spaces of hidden heating elements and silent automation, breakfast looked—and felt—very different. On countless wooden tables sat a strange,…

Rising Star Spotted in Rare Candid Outing: Who Is She?

Rising Star Spotted in Rare Candid Outing: Who Is She?

On a typical Los Angeles afternoon, Addison Rae was recently seen out in the city, moving through that familiar blend of sunlight, traffic noise, and half-finished conversations…

Video: The perfume

The young man says to his date, “I really like the perfume you’re wearing. What’s it called?” The young lady looks puzzled for a minute then searches…

Video: A gorgeous young brunette

A gorgeous young brunette walked into a doctor’s office looking worried and slightly embarrassed. “Doctor,” she said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but my whole…

A Native American Applies for a Loan

The elderly Native American wanted a loan of $500, and a bank employee helped him with the application form that he needed to fill. “What do you…