A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’ She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. ‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’

What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room. ‘Oh, it’s a statue,’ she replied.

‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here, have this’ he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue. Then he said to the statue: ‘I stood like that for two days at the Smiths house and nobody offered me anything!!’

If you enjoyed this story, you should definitely check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.

No Fury Like a Woman Pregnant
(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”

Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)

Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at eight in the morning to buy this candy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”
The customer bolted out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)

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They’re perfect for spreading some laughter and giving your friends a much-needed break from the daily grind. Everyone loves a good story, and who knows – you might just make someone’s day a little brighter!