She Didn’t Expect Her Husband

A family is at the dinner table when the son asks his father,

“How many types of boobs are there?” Surprised, the father answers,

“Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs… In her 20’s, a woman’s boobs are like melons; round and firm.

“In her 30’s, 40’s and 50’s they’re like pears; still nice but hanging a bit. “After 60, they’re like onions” “Onions?” the boy asks. “Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated the wife and daughter, so the daughter turns to her mother and asks, “Mom, how many types of ‘willies’ are there?

The mother smiles and answers, “Well, Dear… A man goes through three stages.

“In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. “In his 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable.

“After his 60’s, it’s like a tree. A tree? she asks. “Yes. The tree is dead, and the balls are just for decoration.”

Related Posts

The Ideal Woman’s Body, According To Science

The Ideal Woman’s Body, According To Science

“Beauty has no size, no skin tone, no hair color, no eye color, no facial features, no muscle definition… for we are all uniquely beautiful and the…

Tears and Respect Flow as 96-Year-Old WWII Veteran Sings National Anthem

Tears and Respect Flow as 96-Year-Old WWII Veteran Sings National Anthem

At a recent baseball game in Michigan, a 96-year-old World War II veteran sang the national anthem from center field. These times bring everyone together to reflect…

Woman attempting to sleep with one person from every country shares worst nationality in bed

Woman attempting to sleep with one person from every country shares worst nationality in bed

Some people collect stamps, others collect quirky figurines – and then there are those who collect something a bit more unusual: ‘flags.’ And by ‘flags,’ we’re not…

From a boat to a ranch: The untold story of Cole Hauser

From a boat to a ranch: The untold story of Cole Hauser

Cole Hauser, then and now. Credit / Getty Images Before he ever met his father, he saw him on TV. Their eventual reunion didn’t lead to a…

The Wrong Way…

The Wrong Way…

While an elderly man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. When he answered, his wife’s worried voice came through, “Herman, I just heard on…

Three Kids Are Arguing

Three Kids Are Arguing

At lunch the first boy says, “My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor…