Tom and Jack are two old retired widowers who live close by and often check in on each other. Their relationship is built more on practicality than true friendship or deep affection.

One morning, as Tom sips his coffee, he opens the paper and turns to the obituary section. To his shock, he sees his own name listed. After some thought, he remembers the newspaper had contacted him for information a few months ago, which he now realizes was to prepare for this very moment. He figures it’s a mistake from their database.

Fuming, Tom calls Jack.

“Jack, you awake?” Tom asks.

Jack answers groggily, “Yeah, but I’m just starting my coffee.”

“Jack, open the paper to page 31,” Tom insists.

“Why? What’s in the paper?”

“Just get the paper and turn to page 31 NOW!”

“Alright, alright, I’ve got it here. What’s so important on page 31?”

“Jack, open it to page 31!” Tom says, growing impatient.

“Okay, okay, stop being so pushy. What’s on page 31 that’s got you so worked up?”

“Look at the bottom of column 4!” Tom demands.

“Why? What’s that story about?”

“Just read it already!” Tom nearly shouts.

Jack reluctantly starts reading. A long silence follows as he scans the page.

Finally, Jack speaks in a quiet, fearful voice, “Tom… where are you calling me from right now?”