Sister Mary’s Speeding Ticket

Sister Mary was driving the convent’s old car on the highway when she was pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The officer walked up to the window with a stern face: “Sister, do you know you were doing 90 mph in a 50 mph zone?”

Sister Mary looked at him with gentle eyes, clasped her hands, and said: “Oh my son, I am terribly sorry. I was on my way to deliver food to the lonely elderly, and I truly felt like the Lord was right beside me, protecting and pushing this car to go faster so I wouldn’t be late.”

The young cop felt a bit guilty and was about to let her go with a warning. But then he noticed a large, locked wooden box on the back seat. Curious, he asked: “What’s inside that box, Sister?”

Sister Mary smiled mysteriously: “That is a holy secret of the convent, my son. It contains something that can make any man fall to his knees in pure awe and fear.”

The officer, overcome with curiosity, insisted she open it. Sister Mary sighed, pulled out a key, and unlocked the box. The cop peered inside… and immediately turned pale. He handed her license back and said: “You can go, Sister! Drive as fast as you want! No ticket today!”

As it turned out, inside the box was a double-barreled sh*tg*n with a note that read: “Church Renovation Fund – Donate voluntarily, or meet the Lord early!”