Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle and took their seats—one by the window, the other in the middle.

Just before takeoff, an attorney boarded and took the aisle seat next to them.

Settling in, the attorney kicked off his shoes and wiggled his toes when the physician by the window said, “I think I’ll get up and grab a Coke.”

“No problem,” the attorney offered. “I’ll get it for you.”

As soon as he left, one of the physicians picked up the attorney’s shoe and spat in it.

When the attorney returned with the Coke, the other physician said, “That looks good—I think I’ll have one too.”

Again, the attorney kindly went to fetch it. While he was gone, the second physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it as well.

When the attorney returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. But as the plane landed, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and immediately realized what had happened.

Shaking his head, he sighed, “How long must this war between our professions continue? This animosity… this bitterness… this spitting in shoes and p.i.ssing in Cokes?”

A doctor and a lawyer are chatting at a party, just trying to relax.

But every five minutes, someone interrupts the doctor:

“Can you look at this rash?”

My back’s been k.i.l.ling me…”

“Does this mole look weird?”

After an hour of free check-ups, the doctor sighs and asks the lawyer:

“How do you deal with people asking for free legal advice outside of work?”

The lawyer smirks:

Simple. I give them advice… then I mail them a bill.”

The doctor blinks.

“You’re joking.”

“Not even a little.”

Inspired (and mildly vengeful), the doctor decides to try it.

The next day, he writes up bills for everyone who bugged him at the party.

As he heads to the mailbox to send them off…

He finds something already waiting for him.

A bill.

From the lawyer.