The Nun Stayed WAY Too Calm At The Doctor’s Office
A young nun goes to the clinic for her routine annual physical. The physician on duty is a young doctor known for being a bit of a prankster. Seeing the nun look so serious and solemn, he decides to play a little joke on her.

After a few routine questions, the doctor looks grave and says, “Sister, I don’t know how to tell you this… but your initial test results show that you are two months pregnant.”

The nun doesn’t gasp, panic, or cry. She simply sits there calmly, closes her notebook, packs her purse, and stands up to leave. Shocked by her lack of reaction, the doctor quickly calls out:

“Wait, Sister! Aren’t you shocked or terrified? Don’t you want to say anything?”

The nun turns around, looks him dead in the eye, and gently says:

“Oh, I’m not scared. I’m just thinking about the convent’s maintenance man. He always told us that the grease he used on the altar candles was top quality. Turns out, he lied.”

The Nun and the Secretive Truck Driver
A young nun was traveling across the country to visit a new convent. Her bus broke down in the middle of nowhere, and the next bus wasn’t scheduled until the following day. Stranded at a lonely truck stop, she noticed a burly truck driver who was about to hit the road in a massive eighteen-wheeler.
She walked up to him and asked politely, “Excuse me, sir, but are you by any chance heading toward the next city? I am a nun and I desperately need to reach my destination tonight.”
The truck driver, a tough-looking man with a kind heart, nodded. “Sure am, Sister. Hop in, but I have to warn you: I have a bit of a habit of talking to myself when I drive, and sometimes my language isn’t exactly church-appropriate.”
The nun smiled, “Don’t worry, my son. I have a ‘habit’ of my own, and I am a very good listener.”
They drove for about two hours in comfortable silence. Suddenly, a small deer darted out onto the highway directly in front of the truck. The driver slammed on the brakes, swerved hard, and just barely missed the animal.
Shaken up and frustrated, the driver yelled out a string of terrible curse words, venting his anger at the deer. A second later, he remembered his holy passenger. He turned bright red, looked at the nun, and apologized profusely: “Oh, Sister! I am so incredibly sorry! I completely forgot you were here. Please forgive my awful language.”
The nun patted his arm gently and said with a calm, sweet smile, “Oh, don’t worry about it, dear. Actually, I learned a lot of new vocabulary just now. But tell me… what on earth is a ‘deer’?”