A priest is driving on the highway when he’s pulled over for speeding.
A priest was driving down a country highway one sunny afternoon when a police officer pulled him over for speeding.
The officer walked up to the window and immediately noticed something unusual. There was a strong smell of alcohol coming from inside the car. As he glanced around, he also spotted an empty wine bottle lying on the passenger-side floor.
Trying to remain polite, the officer leaned in and asked,
“Father, have you been drinking today?”
The priest smiled calmly and shook his head.
“Not at all, officer. I’ve only been drinking water.”
The officer raised an eyebrow and pointed toward the bottle.
“Then why does your car smell like wine?”
The priest looked down at the bottle for the first time. He stared at it for a few seconds, then slowly picked it up and examined the label.
Suddenly, his eyes widened.
He looked toward the sky, crossed himself, and exclaimed:
“Good Lord… He’s done it again!”
A Priest and a Nun Get Lost in a Blizzard
A priest and a nun were lost in a blizzard. After a while, they came upon a small cabin.
Being exhausted, they prepared to fall asleep. There was a pile of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor, but only one bed.
As a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.”
The moment he got zipped up in the bag and was slowly falling asleep, the nun said, “Father, I’m cold.
He opened the sleeping bag, got up, took a blanket, and put it on her.
Once again, he climbed back into the sleeping bag, zipped it up, and began to fall asleep when the nun said again: “Father, I am still very cold.”
He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her, and got back into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said: “Father, I’m sooooo cold.”
This time, he stood there and winked at the woman and smiled. Then he said, “Sister, I have an idea. We are here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let’s pretend we’re married.”
The nun purred: “That’s fine with me.”
To which the priest yelled out: “Okay, so get up and get your own stupid blanket!”
Oh, the beauty of marriage!
Hope this joke makes you smile! Have a nice day!!!
Three bulls heard the farmer was bringing another bull onto the farm.
First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”
Second Bull: “I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all of my cows.”
Third Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far, …you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest Brahman bull they’ve ever seen. At 3,600 lbs, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First Bull: “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend.”
Second Bull: “I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”
They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First Bull: “Son, don’t be foolish — let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
Third Bull: “He can have all my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull.
