Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v*rgin.

So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous.

But her mother reassured her.

“Don’t worry Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs, and he’ll take care of you.”

So up she went.

When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his h@iry ch-est.

Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,

“Mama Mama, Tony’s got a big h@iry ch-est.”

“Don’t worry Maria,” says the mother, “All good men have h@iry che-sts. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.”

So, up she went again.

When she got up in the bedroom, Tony to-ok off his p@nts exposing his h@iry legs.

Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.

“Mama Mama, Tony to-ok off his p@nts, and he’s got h@iry legs!”

“Don’t worry Maria,” says the mother, “All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs, and he’ll take good care of you.”

So, up she went again.

When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing all five toes.

When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.

“Mama Mama, Tony’s only got a foot and a half!”

Her mother replies, “Stay here and stir the pasta,”…

“This is a job for Mama!”