Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke.

He asks the other guy if he has a lighter

He replies “Yes I do!” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter

Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?”

The guy replies “Oh I have a personal genie.”

The first man asks “Can I make a wish? ”

Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing”

“Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants

The man says ” I want a Million Bucks ”

The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head .

And the guy says to the other ” Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?”

The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

A little girl asked her Mom,

“Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”

Mom replies, “No, because she is in h*at.”

“What’s that mean?” asked the child.

“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”

The little girl goes to the garage and says,

“Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block?

I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in h*at, and to come to you.”

Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.”

Being old school he took a rag, soaked it with a little gasoline, and dabbed the dog’s b*cks*de with it to disguise the scent, and said, “OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.”

The little girl left …..and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”

(YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!)

The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the
block, so another dog is pushing her home.

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.

On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$150.

The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”

Neighbours Daughter…

Son:”Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!”

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”.

Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.”

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.”

Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.”

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

“My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”