When Decisions Get Difficult

The manager of a large corporation had a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax.

The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days, he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him a job to do.

The farmer told him to clean up all of the cow manure. The farmer thought that for somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it would take over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise, the manager finished the job in less than one day.

The next day, the farmer gave the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager would not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day, the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes into two boxes: one box with small potatoes and one box with big potatoes.

At the end of the day, the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potato bag, but the two boxes were empty.

The farmer asked the manager, “How is it that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?”

The manager answered: “Listen, all my life I’m cutting heads and dealing with crap, but now you ask me to make decisions!”

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing.

On the last day, the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”

Three months down the track, there is major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all.

He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says, “Blame your predecessor!”

He does this and gets off the hook.

About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems.

The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!”

This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.

Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope.

The message inside says, “Prepare three envelopes…”

At a small parish in rural England, there lived a priest, and several nuns.

One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”

The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’, not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your… I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”

The priest thanked her again for bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.

A few days later, the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy reading the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”

The bishop said, “How wonderful, my child. Where did you find it?”

After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”
One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk,

down on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlight.

The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wristwatch had broken loose from his wrist.
The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped.

“About a half a block up the street,” the drunk said.

“Why, pray tell,” the man asked the drunk, “are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?”
The drunk replied, “The light is a lot better here.”