HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by this student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then it must be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct—leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting “Oh, my God!”

Related Posts

Video: Funny Moments in Life

Video: Funny Moments in Life

Once upon a time, there was a man who came home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. Confusion washed over his face as…

Video: A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse

Video: A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When an old woman came to the door, he asked her how many…

Video: THIS BOY JUST GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL. BUT WHEN HIS DAD ASKED WHY, HE TOLD HIM THIS

Video: THIS BOY JUST GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL. BUT WHEN HIS DAD ASKED WHY, HE TOLD HIM THIS

I’ve translated a popular Russian joke to English, wanna hear your reaction A young boy says to his father “Dad, our math teacher is asking to see…

Video: A man standing at a urinal

Video: A man standing at a urinal

A man standing at a urinal notices that he’s being watched by a midget. “Wow,” comments the midget. “Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!”…

Scandal Surrounds Gérard Depardieu as Belgian and Canadian Awards Are Revoked, French Legion of Honor Membership at Risk

Scandal Surrounds Gérard Depardieu as Belgian and Canadian Awards Are Revoked, French Legion of Honor Membership at Risk

French actor Gérard Depardieu has become the focus of an escalating international scandal following the release of a controversial television documentary on December 7, 2023. In the…

Video: An old woman walks into a tattoo shop

Video: An old woman walks into a tattoo shop

An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies “Well, ok…