{"id":10408,"date":"2024-05-07T10:54:03","date_gmt":"2024-05-07T10:54:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=10408"},"modified":"2024-05-07T10:54:03","modified_gmt":"2024-05-07T10:54:03","slug":"the-best-divorce-letter-ever-dear-wife-im-keeping-in-touch-with-you-this-letter-to-let-you-know-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=10408","title":{"rendered":"THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! Dear Wife, I\u2019m keeping in touch with you this letter to let you know"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"
\nI\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you forever. I\u2019ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. \u2026 Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn\u2019t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t tell me you love me anymore; you don\u2019t want $ex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you\u2019re cheating on me or you don\u2019t love me anymore; whatever the case, I\u2019m gone.
\nYour EX-Husband<\/p>\n

P.S. don\u2019t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!<\/p>\n

Dear Ex-Husband,<\/p>\n

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It\u2019s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you\u2019ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn\u2019t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was \u2018You look just like a girl!\u2019 Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can\u2019t say something nice, I didn\u2019t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.<\/p>\n

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.<\/p>\n

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..<\/p>\n

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won\u2019t get a dime from me. So take care.<\/p>\n

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!<\/p>\n

P.S. I don\u2019t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that\u2019s not a problem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m writing you this letter to tell you that I\u2019m leaving you forever. I\u2019ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10409,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10408"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10410,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10408\/revisions\/10410"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}