{"id":16416,"date":"2025-02-11T01:32:54","date_gmt":"2025-02-11T01:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=16416"},"modified":"2025-02-11T01:36:50","modified_gmt":"2025-02-11T01:36:50","slug":"joke-of-the-day-a-woman-is-sitting-bed-with-her-lover","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=16416","title":{"rendered":"Joke of the day: A woman is sitting bed with her lover"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hurry,\u2019 she said, \u2018stand in the corner.\u2019 She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. \u2018Don\u2019t move until I tell you,\u2019 she said. \u2018Pretend you\u2019re a statue.\u2019<\/p>\n

What\u2019s this?\u2019 the husband inquired as he entered the room. \u2018Oh, it\u2019s a statue,\u2019 she replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.\u2019<\/p>\n

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.<\/p>\n

\u2018Here, have this\u2019 he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue. Then he said to the statue: \u2018I stood like that for two days at the Smiths house and nobody offered me anything!!\u2019<\/p>\n

If you enjoyed this story, you should definitely check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.<\/p>\n

No Fury Like a Woman Pregnant
\n(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Customer: \u201cCan you break a $100 bill?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cActually, I can\u2019t. We just opened and I haven\u2019t gone to the bank today.\u201d<\/p>\n

Customer: \u201cOh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!\u201d<\/p>\n

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he\u2019s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cSir, these aren\u2019t for you, are they?\u201d<\/p>\n

Customer: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cDid your pregnant wife send you out at eight in the morning to buy this candy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Customer: \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cFor the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you\u2019re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!\u201d
\nThe customer bolted out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)
\n\"\"
\nWhy not share these funny stories on Facebook?<\/p>\n

They\u2019re perfect for spreading some laughter and giving your friends a much-needed break from the daily grind. Everyone loves a good story, and who knows \u2013 you might just make someone\u2019s day a little brighter!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. \u2018Hurry,\u2019 she said, \u2018stand in the corner.\u2019 She rubbed baby… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16418,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16416"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16420,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16416\/revisions\/16420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/16418"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}