The Navy realized they had too many officers, so they came up with a special early retirement bonus:<\/p>\n
\ud83d\udcb0 $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on their body! \ud83d\udcb0<\/p>\n
First officer steps up and says, \u201cMeasure me from the top of my head to my toes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Result? 6 feet = $72,000. Not bad!<\/p>\n
The second officer gets clever. \u201cMeasure from my fingertips to my toes!\u201d<\/p>\n
Boom! 8 feet = $96,000. Even better!<\/p>\n
Then comes a grizzled old Chief. When asked where he wants to be measured, he smirks and says:<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom the tip of my weenie\u2026 to my testicles.\u201d \ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n
The pension officer tries to talk him out of it, but the Chief insists.<\/p>\n
A medical officer arrives to take the measurement. The Chief drops his pants, and the doc starts measuring\u2026<\/p>\n
Then suddenly stops and says, \u201cUh\u2026 Chief\u2026 where are your testicles?\u201d \ud83d\ude28<\/p>\n
The Chief calmly replies\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cVietnam.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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