One sunny afternoon, an elderly woman named Violante was cruising peacefully down the highway when she noticed flashing red and blue lights in her rearview mirror. Without a fuss, she pulled over to the side of the road. A young, nervous-looking officer approached her window.<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cMa\u2019am, do you know why I pulled you over?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cIs something wrong, Officer?\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cYes, ma\u2019am. You were speeding.\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cOh, I see.\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cMay I see your driver\u2019s license?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cI would, but I don\u2019t have one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201c\u2026You don\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cNope. Lost it about four years ago\u2014for drunk driving.\u201d<\/p>\n
The officer paused, clearly rattled.<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cAlright\u2026 Can I see your vehicle registration, then?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cSorry, can\u2019t help you there either.\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cBecause I stole the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
The officer\u2019s jaw nearly hit the ground.<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cYou\u2026 stole it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cYes. And just so you know, I killed the owner. His chopped-up body\u2019s in the trunk.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now pale and panicked, the officer backed away slowly, hand on his radio. Moments later, squad cars surrounded the vehicle. A senior officer approached, hand resting on his holstered weapon.<\/p>\n
Officer 2: \u201cMa\u2019am, please step out of the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante stepped out calmly, even smiling.<\/p>\n
Officer 2: \u201cOne of my officers says you stole this vehicle and\u2026 murdered the owner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante (cheerfully): \u201cMurder? Oh my! Of course not. Feel free to check the trunk if you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cautiously, the officer opened the trunk. It was empty\u2014nothing but a few reusable grocery bags.<\/p>\n
Officer 2: \u201cIs this your car, ma\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cCertainly. Here\u2019s the registration.\u201d<\/p>\n
She handed over the papers. Everything checked out.<\/p>\n
Officer 2: \u201cAnd your driver\u2019s license?\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante opened her purse and handed it over with a pleasant nod.<\/p>\n
The officer looked it over, stunned.<\/p>\n
Officer 2: \u201cI don\u2019t understand. My officer said you didn\u2019t have a license, that this car was stolen, and\u2026 you\u2019d killed someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Violante chuckled.<\/p>\n
Violante: \u201cLet me guess\u2026 I bet he also said I was speeding.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One sunny afternoon, an elderly woman named Violante was cruising peacefully down the highway when she noticed flashing red and blue lights in her rearview mirror. Without… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20325"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20327,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20325\/revisions\/20327"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/20326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}