A guy comes home late one night, and his wife is waiting for him at the door, arms crossed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere the hell have you been?\u201d she demands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was out getting a tattoo,\u201d he replies.<\/p>\n
Her eyes narrow. \u201cA tattoo? What kind of tattoo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI got a hundred-dollar bill on my manhood.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stares at him, dumbfounded. \u201cA hundred-dollar bill?! On your penis?! What the hell were you thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n
He grins and says, **\u201dWell, for three reasons:
\nOne\u2014I like to watch my money grow.
\nTwo\u2014every now and then, I enjoy playing with my money.
\nAnd three\u2014this way, instead of going shopping, you can stay home and blow a hundred bucks.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A guy comes home late one night, and his wife is waiting for him at the door, arms crossed. \u201cWhere the hell have you been?\u201d she demands…. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21972,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21971"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21971\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21973,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21971\/revisions\/21973"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}