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<\/p>\nA blonde goes to a auto parts store and asks for a Seven Ten cap.<\/p>\n
Everybody look at each other and ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s a seven ten cap?\u201d<\/p>\n
She says\u2026, \u201cYou know, it\u2019s right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind of a car is it?\u201d they ask.<\/p>\n
She says that it\u2019s a Buick.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Lady, how big is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1\/2 inches in diameter.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does it do?\u201d<\/p>\n
She says, \u201cI don\u2019t know, but it\u2019s always been there.\u201d<\/p>\n
One of the guy gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1\/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.<\/p>\n
The guys on the opposite side of the counter are looking at as she writes it\u2026and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard.<\/p>\n
One guy says, \u201cI think you want an OIL cap.\u201d
\n<\/p>\n
===============================================<\/p>\n
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull but that\u2019s not the worst of it.<\/p>\n
My headlights are out of focus and it\u2019s especially hard to see things up close.<\/p>\n
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.<\/p>\n
My spare tyres are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the worst of it\u2026<\/p>\n
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter\u2026.. either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.<\/p>\n
===============================================<\/p>\n
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.<\/p>\n
He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted \u201c240-S\u201d.<\/p>\n
The dealer asks, \u201cWhy \u2018S\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
The snail replies, \u201c\u2018S\u2019 stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who\u2019s driving.\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, the dealer doesn\u2019t want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.<\/p>\n
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they\u2019d say \u201cWow! Look at that S-car go!\u201d<\/p>\n
===============================================<\/p>\n
Cinderella was now 75 years old.<\/p>\n
After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.<\/p>\n
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: \u201cFairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?\u201d<\/p>\n
The Fairy Godmother replied: \u201cWell, Cinderella, as you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cinderella was overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, almost under her breath, she uttered her first wish: \u201cI wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.\u201d<\/p>\n
Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said: \u201cOh thank you, Fairy Godmother!\u201d<\/p>\n
The Fairy Godmother replied: \u201cIt\u2019s the least I can do. What does your heart desire for your second wish?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: \u201cI wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again.\u201d At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. And long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.<\/p>\n
Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke: \u201cYou have one more wish, what will you have?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: \u201cI wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a fundamental change in his biological make-up, that, when complete, he stood before her a boy so beautiful \u2013 the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen \u2013 so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.<\/p>\n
The Fairy Godmother again spoke: \u201cCongratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life!\u201d And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.<\/p>\n
For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other\u2019s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his strong, youthful arms.<\/p>\n
He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath: \u201cI bet you regret having me neutered now, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
===============================================<\/p>\n
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.<\/p>\n
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, \u201cIf I decide to buy the bull, I\u2019ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.\u201d<\/p>\n
The brunette arrives at the man\u2019s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.<\/p>\n
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, \u201cI want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I\u2019ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.\u201d<\/p>\n
The telegraph operator explains that he\u2019ll be glad to help her, then adds, \u201cIt\u2019s just 99 cents a word.\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she\u2019ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, \u201cI want you to send her the word, comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n
The telegraph operator shakes his head. \u201cHow is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?\u201d<\/p>\n
The brunette explains, \u201cMy sister\u2019s a blonde. She\u2019ll read it slowly.\u201d<\/p>\n
===============================================<\/p>\n
A blonde brought her baby to a doctor.<\/p>\n
After examining, the doctor right away determined that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for eardrops.<\/p>\n
In the directions he wrote, \u201cPut two drops in right ear every four hours\u201d and he abbreviated \u201cright\u201d as an R with a circle around it.<\/p>\n
Several days passed, and the blonde returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.<\/p>\n
The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:<\/p>\n
Put two drops in R ear every four hours.<\/p>\n
Comment your answer below \ud83d\udc47<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A blonde goes to a auto parts store and asks for a Seven Ten cap. Everybody look at each other and ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s a seven ten cap?\u201d… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22503"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22503\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22506,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22503\/revisions\/22506"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}