Bob staggered home after a night of drinking<\/p>\n
He tiptoed up the stairs so as not to wake his wife, Kathleen, but tripped and fell on his butt.<\/p>\n
The whiskey bottles in both back pockets made the landing especially painful.<\/p>\n
He let out a scream, pulled down his pants and looked in the hall mirror to see his ass cheeks cut and bleeding.<\/p>\n
Quietly, she managed to find a box of Band-Aids and stuck one where she saw blood.<\/p>\n
The next morning he woke up to find Kathleen looking at him and saying, \u201cYou were drunk last night, weren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bob snapped, \u201cWhy would you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could have been the broken glass, or the blood in the house, or your bloodshot eyes,\u201d Kathleen replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut mostly,\u201d she continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the Band-Aids on the mirror in the hallway.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bob staggered home after a night of drinking He tiptoed up the stairs so as not to wake his wife, Kathleen, but tripped and fell on his… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22616,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22615"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22617,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22615\/revisions\/22617"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}