{"id":22823,"date":"2026-05-29T19:05:33","date_gmt":"2026-05-29T19:05:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=22823"},"modified":"2026-05-29T19:05:33","modified_gmt":"2026-05-29T19:05:33","slug":"an-old-lady-puts-an-ad-in-the-paper-looking-for-a-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=22823","title":{"rendered":"An old lady puts an ad in the paper, looking for a husband\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_4100-167x300.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"167\" height=\"300\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-22824\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_4100-167x300.webp 167w, https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_4100-572x1024.webp 572w, https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/IMG_4100.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 167px) 100vw, 167px\" \/><br \/>\nAn old lady puts an ad in the paper, looking for a husband\u2026<\/p>\n<p>She decides honesty is the best policy, and sets three rules that applicants must meet:<br \/>\nThey must not run around on her.<br \/>\nThey must not h*t her.<br \/>\nThey must be good in b*d.<\/p>\n<p>A few days go by after she placed her ad, when the doorbell rings. She opens the door to find an old guy sitting there in a wheel chair. He has no arms and no legs.<\/p>\n<p>The old lady asks if she can help him and he says he\u2019s there about her ad.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut you don\u2019t have any legs,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>Just means I can\u2019t run around on ya,\u201d the old guy replies.<\/p>\n<p>But\u2026you don\u2019t have any arms\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust means I won\u2019t hit ya.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old lady nods and says, \u201cOkay, but are you good in bed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old guy just smiles. \u201cI rang the doorbell, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An old lady puts an ad in the paper, looking for a husband\u2026 She decides honesty is the best policy, and sets three rules that applicants must&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22824,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22823","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22823"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22825,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22823\/revisions\/22825"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}