{"id":22891,"date":"2026-06-10T19:43:57","date_gmt":"2026-06-10T19:43:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=22891"},"modified":"2026-06-10T19:43:57","modified_gmt":"2026-06-10T19:43:57","slug":"old-barnaby-loved-his-hound","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=22891","title":{"rendered":"Old Barnaby loved his hound"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nOld Barnaby loved his hound, Buster, more than life itself\u2014which was ironic, because Buster spent every waking moment trying to end the lives of everyone else. The beast had a terrifying habit of attacking literally anything that moved.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet him fixed,\u201d his buddies advised. \u201cIt drains the aggression right out of \u2019em. He\u2019ll turn into a total pacifist.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoping for some peace, Barnaby took the dog to the vet for the procedure. A few days later, he was relaxing in his living room when the mailman stepped onto the front porch. In a horrific flash of fur and fury, Buster launched himself right through the wire screen door and savagely tackled the mail carrier into the bushes.<\/p>\n

Barnaby sprinted outside, dragged the lunging dog off, and began frantically apologizing to the bruised postman.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am so incredibly sorry!\u201d Barnaby pleaded, near tears. \u201cI don\u2019t know what else to do! My friends swore that if I had him fixed, he\u2019d stop attacking people!\u201d<\/p>\n

The mailman painfully brushed himself off, glared at the snarling dog, and growled, \u201cNext time, buddy, try having his damn teeth pulled. Because I knew the second he broke through that door, he wasn\u2019t coming out here to screw me.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Old Barnaby loved his hound, Buster, more than life itself\u2014which was ironic, because Buster spent every waking moment trying to end the lives of everyone else. The… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22892,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22891","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22891"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22891\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22893,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22891\/revisions\/22893"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22892"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}