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\nEight-year-old Timmy knew exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up, but his father was entirely unprepared for the hilariously innocent logic behind it.<\/p>\n
\nEight-year-old Timmy knew exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up, but his father was entirely unprepared for the hilariously innocent logic behind it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to be a babysitter,\u201d Timmy announced proudly one afternoon.<\/p>\n
His dad chuckled, raising an eyebrow. \u201cA babysitter? Why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThink about it, Dad,\u201d Timmy explained, deadpan. \u201cIt\u2019s the only job in the world where people literally pay you to play video games, eat their snacks, watch TV, and take naps.\u201d His dad laughed it off, completely unaware of just how much Timmy was observing around the house.<\/p>\n
The very next week, Timmy unexpectedly came home early from school. Hearing strange noises coming from the master bedroom, he pushed the door open, only to freeze in utter bewilderment. His mother was completely nak*d, perched squarely on top of his equally naked father, bouncing up and down with furious energy.<\/p>\n
Gasping in sh0ck, his mother frantically pulled the bedsheets over herself. \u201cTimmy! Go straight to your room! I\u2019ll be up in just a minute!\u201d<\/p>\n
Timmy retreated upstairs, his mind racing. Moments later, his mother walked into his bedroom, desperately scrambling for damage control. She had a massive pile of grocery shopping to do and absolutely no time to deliver the \u201cbirds and the bees\u201d speech.<\/p>\n
Sitting on the edge of his bed, she took a deep breath. \u201cSo, Timmy\u2026 what exactly do you think you saw down there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI saw you and Dad naked,\u201d Timmy said, squinting. \u201cAnd you were jumping up and down on his stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n
Seizing the opportunity for a clever cover story, his mother smiled gently. \u201cWell, honey, it\u2019s a medical thing. You see, when men get to your father\u2019s age, their bellies occasionally fill up with a lot of trapped, heavy air. If we don\u2019t get rid of it, he\u2019ll get dangerously fat. So, I have to get naked and bounce on his gut to push all that air out and keep him skinny. It\u2019s just a special exercise.\u201d<\/p>\n
Timmy stared at her for a moment, and then burst into uncontrollable, hysterical laughter.<\/p>\n
Confused and slightly offended, his mother asked, \u201cWhat on earth is so funny?\u201d<\/p>\n
Wiping a tear from his eye, Timmy giggled, \u201cMom, that exercise is never going to work! Because every single time you go to the grocery store, the babysitter just blows him right back up again.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Eight-year-old Timmy knew exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up, but his father was entirely unprepared for the hilariously innocent logic behind it. \u201cI\u2019m… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22898,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22897"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22897\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22899,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22897\/revisions\/22899"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}