A man was brought into the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, with tubes coming out everywhere.<\/p>\n
A week later, another man was admitted in a similar condition.<\/p>\n
Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking, etc. A couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, \u201cAmerican.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, \u201cCanadian.\u201d<\/p>\n
This act tired them out so badly that it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, \u201cNew York\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Other replied in a weedy, frail voice, \u201cToronto\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Once more, the strain was too much for them both, and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, \u201cMichael\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Replied the other, \u201cDavid\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
A few hours later, Michael managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, \u201cCancer.\u201d<\/p>\n
David responded, \u201cSagittarius.\u201d<\/p>\n
A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.<\/p>\n
Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.<\/p>\n
He goes up to the first man and says: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier replies: \u201csir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks him: \u201cHow are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cNo sir, the nurses are doing the best they can.\u201d The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.<\/p>\n
The general approaches the second man\u2019s bed and asks: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: \u201cSir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general laughs and says: \u201cIt happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cNo sir, the nurses are doing the best they can.\u201d The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.<\/p>\n
The general approaches the third man\u2019s bed and asks: \u201cWhat brings you in here son?\u201d<\/p>\n
The soldier tells him: \u201csir, I got strep throat in the trenches.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cHow are they caring for you in here?\u201d and the soldier replies: \u201cWell sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush.\u201d<\/p>\n
The general asks: \u201cIs there anything else we can do for you?\u201d and the soldier says: \u201cActually sir, there is one thing\u2026 I\u2019d like to be the first one to use the brush.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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