{"id":23809,"date":"2026-08-07T22:55:22","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T22:55:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=23809"},"modified":"2026-08-07T22:55:22","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T22:55:22","slug":"a-call-in-sick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=23809","title":{"rendered":"A call in sick."},"content":{"rendered":"

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining about severe abdominal pains.<\/p>\n

We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain.<\/p>\n

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.<\/p>\n

I turned to my husband and asked, \u201cWould you like me to call the funeral home now?\u201d<\/p>\n

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, \u201cHoney, he\u2019s not that sick!\u201d
\n\"\"
\n===============================================<\/p>\n

Margaret was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away.<\/p>\n

She went to the undertaker\u2019s to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment.<\/p>\n

Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.<\/p>\n

The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit, but he\u2019d see what he could arrange.<\/p>\n

The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she managed to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.<\/p>\n

She said to the undertaker \u201cWonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband\u2019s size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit,\u201d the undertaker replied.<\/p>\n

The wife smiled at the man.<\/p>\n

He continued, \u201cAfter that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads.\u201d<\/p>\n

===============================================<\/p>\n

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work.<\/p>\n

As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need a fourth for poker,\u201d said the friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right over,\u201d whispered the doctor.<\/p>\n

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, \u201cIs it serious?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, quite serious,\u201d said the doctor gravely. \u201cIn fact, three doctors are there already!\u201d<\/p>\n

===============================================<\/p>\n

Two doctors, Dean and Gable, are treating a man with lung disease.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re explaining how his sm.o.king w*d has led to his condition worsening.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s just herbal!\u201d the patient protested. \u201cHow can it be bad?\u201d Dr. Jenkins sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cNature isn\u2019t all innocent. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden \u2013 if you sit under it for just 5 minutes, you will die. Just because it\u2019s natural doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s safe for you!\u201d<\/p>\n

The man seemed to accept that, and promised to stop his smoking.<\/p>\n

After he left, the doctors went to lunch. As they were sitting down to eat, Dr. Smith asked, \u201cOh by the way, what IS that plant that kills you if you sit under it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA water lily.\u201d<\/p>\n

===============================================<\/p>\n

A new miracle doctor was in town.<\/p>\n

He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do except for Bhola, the town\u2019s grouch.<\/p>\n

So Bhola went to this \u2018Miracle Doctor\u2019 to prove that he wasn\u2019t so miraculous.<\/p>\n

He goes and tells the doctor, \u201cHey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can\u2019t taste nothing, so what are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tell Bhola, \u201cWhat you need is jar number 43.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJar number 43?\u201d, Bhola wonders.<\/p>\n

So the doctor leaves and after five minutes brings a jar and tells Bhola to taste it.<\/p>\n

He tastes it and immediately spits it out, \u201cThis is Shit!\u201d he yells.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just restored your sense of taste Bhola,\u201d says the doctor.<\/p>\n

So Bhola goes home very mad.<\/p>\n

One month later, Bhola goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, \u201cDoc,\u201d he starts, \u201cI can\u2019t remember!\u201d<\/p>\n

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little. Then tells Bhola, \u201cWhat you need is jar number 43\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Bhola fled the office.<\/p>\n

Comment your answer below \ud83d\udc47<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining about severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23810,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23809"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23811,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23809\/revisions\/23811"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/23810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}