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\nA duck walked into a general store, waddled up to the counter, and asked, \u201cDo you have any peanuts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\nA duck walked into a general store, waddled up to the counter, and asked, \u201cDo you have any peanuts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d said the assistant.<\/p>\n
The next day the duck was back again, \u201cGot any peanuts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d the assistant said firmly.<\/p>\n
The next day duck came in again, \u201cGot any peanuts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d shouted the assistant.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve told you we don\u2019t have any peanuts. If you come back in here again and ask for peanuts, I\u2019ll nail your webbed feet to the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day the duck came in again, \u201cGot any nails?\u201d<\/p>\n
No,\u201d said the assistant.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood. Got any peanuts?\u201d
\nLOL!!<\/p>\n
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/p>\n
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
\nA woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and said sadly, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n
The distressed woman wailed, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d
\n\u201cYes, I\u2019m sure. Your duck is dead,\u201d the vet replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow can you be so sure?\u201d she protested. \u201cI mean, you haven\u2019t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.\u201d<\/p>\n
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck\u2019s owner looked on in amazement, the dog reared up on its hind legs, put its front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.<\/p>\n
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.<\/p>\n
The vet looked at the woman and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.\u201d<\/p>\n
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.<\/p>\n
The duck\u2019s owner, still in shock, took the bill.<\/p>\n
\u201c$150!\u201d she cried, \u201c$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!\u201d<\/p>\n
The vet shrugged, \u201cI\u2019m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it\u2019s now $150.\u201d<\/p>\n
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A duck walked into a general store, waddled up to the counter, and asked, \u201cDo you have any peanuts?\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d said the assistant. The next day the… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23900,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23899"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23901,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23899\/revisions\/23901"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/23900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}