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\nWOMEN\u2019S THEORIES ON WHY \u201cMen Are Just Happier People\u201d<\/p>\n
\nWOMEN\u2019S THEORIES ON WHY \u201cMen Are Just Happier People\u201d<\/p>\n
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
\nYour last name stays put.
\nThe garage is all yours.
\nWedding plans take care of themselves.
\nChocolate is just another snack.
\nYou can never be pregnant.
\nYou can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
\nYou can wear NO shirt to a water park.
\nCar mechanics tell you the truth.
\nThe world is your urinal.
\nYou never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
\nYou don\u2019t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
\nSame work, more pay.
\nWrinkles add character.
\nWedding dress $5000; Tux rental-$100.
\nPeople never stare at your ch*st when you\u2019re talking to them.
\nNew shoes don\u2019t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
\nOne mood all the time.
\nPhone conversations are over in 30 flat.
\nYou know stuff about tanks.
\nA five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
\nYou can open all your own jars.
\nYou get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
\nIf someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
\nYour underwe@r is $8.95 for a three-pack.
\nTwo pairs of shoes are more than enough.
\nYou almost never have strap problems in public.
\nYou are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
\nEverything on your face stays its original color.
\nThe same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
\nYou only have to shave your face and neck.
\nYou can play with toys all your life.
\nOne wallet and one pair of shoes \u2014 one color for all seasons.
\nYou can wear shorts no matter what your legs look like.
\nYou can \u2018do\u2019 your nails with a pocket knife.
\nYou have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
\nYou can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
\nNo wonder men are happier.
\nNICKNAMES
\nIf Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Turkey.
\nEATING OUT
\nWhen the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the tab is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the calculators.
\nMONEY
\nA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn\u2019t need but it\u2019s on sale.
\nBATHROOMS
\nA man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
\nThe average number of items in the typical woman\u2019s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
\nARGUMENTS
\nA woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
\nFUTURE
\nA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
\nMARRIAGE
\nA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn\u2019t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won\u2019t change, but she does.
\nDRESSING UP
\nA woman will dress up to water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
\nNATURAL
\nMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
\nOFFSPRING
\nAh, children.
\nA woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
\nA man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
\nFINAL THOUGHT
\nA married man just forgets about his mistakes. There\u2019s no use in two people remembering the same thing!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
WOMEN\u2019S THEORIES ON WHY \u201cMen Are Just Happier People\u201d What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours…. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24023,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24022"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24024,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24022\/revisions\/24024"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/24023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}