{"id":24299,"date":"2026-09-14T23:25:51","date_gmt":"2026-09-14T23:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=24299"},"modified":"2026-09-14T23:25:51","modified_gmt":"2026-09-14T23:25:51","slug":"husband-gets-home-and-tells-his-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=24299","title":{"rendered":"Husband gets home and tells his wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Husband gets home and tells his wife:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cquick, get me a beer before it starts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gets the beer.<\/p>\n<p>He chugs it and says<\/p>\n<p>\u201cquick, get me another before it starts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She obliges.<\/p>\n<p>Husband again chugs it and says<\/p>\n<p>\u201cquick, get me another beer before it starts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The wife replies<\/p>\n<p>\u201cif you want another beer you lazy bastard get your fat ass up and get it yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Husband murmurs<\/p>\n<p>\u201cshit, it started.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Husband gets home and tells his wife: \u201cquick, get me a beer before it starts.\u201d She gets the beer. He chugs it and says \u201cquick, get me&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24300,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24299"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24301,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24299\/revisions\/24301"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/24300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}