{"id":24525,"date":"2026-10-04T18:53:07","date_gmt":"2026-10-04T18:53:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=24525"},"modified":"2026-10-04T18:53:07","modified_gmt":"2026-10-04T18:53:07","slug":"woman-gets-a-tattoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/?p=24525","title":{"rendered":"Woman gets a tattoo"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"
\nWoman gets a tattoo<\/p>\n

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line.<\/p>\n

She also wants him to put \u201cHappy Thanksgiving\u201d under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.<\/p>\n

The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.<\/p>\n

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says \u201cif you don\u2019t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusal tattoos on your thighs?\u201d<\/p>\n

She says \u201cI\u2019m sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there\u2019s nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nA farmer took his truck in for repairs.<\/p>\n

The local mechanic couldn\u2019t do it while he waited: so, as he didn\u2019t live far, he said he would just walk home.<\/p>\n

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.<\/p>\n

He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.<\/p>\n

However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem. \u2013 how to carry his entire purchases home.<\/p>\n

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, \u201c said the farmer, \u201cas a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would gladly walk you there, but I can\u2019t carry this lot.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy don\u2019t you put the can of paint in the bucket,\u201d suggested the little old lady, \u201cCarry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, thank you very much,\u201d he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.<\/p>\n

On the way he said. \u201c\u2019Let\u2019s take my shortcut and go down this alley. We\u2019ll be there in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n

The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, \u201cI am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won\u2019t hold me up against the wall, p*ll up my sk*rt, and have your way with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoly smokes lady!\u201d, the farmer said. \u201cI\u2019m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you WERE to do such a thing,\u201d the old lady replied, \u201cyou would set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I would hold the chickens.
\nA LADY RECEIVED A FRIEND REQUEST<\/p>\n

A few days ago I received friend request on FACEBOOK from a attractive guy about 29 years old\u2026.I was curious. I wanted to that why someone that young wanted to be my Facebook friend. S. To i accepted it. Then he started sending private messages. He was very kind. He called beautiful. He asked my age. I\u2019m not a liar so i told him and reminded him I\u2019m quite a bit senior . And i let talk\u2019s a bit because true to be told flattery ain\u2019t all that bad.<\/p>\n

We keep talking for a while and within a short time, He asked if we could talk about *d*lt things\u2019. I said OK. Then he replied with a face like\ud83d\ude08. He said thank you babe,you start\u201d. So i did!<\/p>\n

I told him *d*lt things like my hips and knees were hurting. My back acts up when it is cold outside. I explained i have a crazy insomnia, I toss and turn the entire night and that i often have leg cramps,especially when i try to sleep. I mentioned the sc*rs from multiple surgeries and the limp i have from old injury. And of course i had to throw in the need for daily fibre supplements to prevent pass gas. Can\u2019t forget that one!<\/p>\n

I was waiting for him to answer me\u2026.<\/p>\n

He blocked me. He wanted to talk about things and then don\u2019t take the heat!<\/p>\n

I think I\u2019m just a bit too much woman for him to handle \ud83d\ude02<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Woman gets a tattoo A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24527,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24525"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24528,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24525\/revisions\/24528"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/24527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ourtimenew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}