A Polish man married an American woman, and even though his English wasn’t perfect, they got along just fine.

One day, he bursts into a lawyer’s office, looking panicked.

Man: “I need a divorce! Please help!”

Lawyer: “A divorce? Well, that depends on your situation. Do you have any grounds?”

Man: “Yes, yes! One acre and a nice little house.”

Lawyer: “No, I mean—what’s the foundation of your case?”

Man: “Oh! Made of concrete.”

Lawyer: “Sir, do you and your wife have a grudge?”

Man: “No need! We have a carport!”

Lawyer: “Let’s try again… what are your relations like?”

Man: “All still in Poland.”

Lawyer: “Sir, has there been any infidelity in your marriage?”

Man: “Oh yes! We have hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.”

Lawyer: “No, I mean… does your wife ever beat you up?”

Man: “No, no, I wake up before her every day!”

Lawyer: Getting frustrated. “Then why do you want a divorce?”

Man: “Because she tries to k-i.l.l me!”

Lawyer: “What?! What makes you think that?”

Man: “I have proof! She buys a bottle at the drugstore… puts it in the bathroom!”

Lawyer: “And what did the bottle say?”

Man: “Right on label… ‘Regular Polish Remover!’”