Little Johnny’s Moral

One Friday afternoon, Mrs. Parker gave her class a homework assignment.

“I want each of you to come back on Monday with a story that ends with a moral.”

Monday morning arrived.

Little Suzy went first.

“My dad owns a chicken farm. Last weekend we were taking eggs to market when the truck hit a huge bump. Every egg rolled out and smashed.”

“And the moral?” asked Mrs. Parker.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

“Excellent.”

Lucy stood up next.

“We put twelve eggs in the incubator, but only eight chicks hatched.”

“And the moral?”

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

“Very good.”

Finally, Little Johnny stood up.

“My Uncle Ted was a paratrooper.”

“One mission, his plane got shot down over enemy territory.”

“He jumped out carrying a machine gun, a machete… and a whole case of beer.”

“On the way down…”

“…he drank every single beer.”

The class stared at him.

Johnny continued without missing a beat.

“When he landed, a hundred enemy soldiers surrounded him.”

“He used the machine gun until it ran out.”

“Then he used the machete until it snapped in half.”

“Then he used his bare hands.”

Mrs. Parker blinked.

The classroom was dead silent.

After a long pause she asked,

“Johnny…”

“What could possibly be the moral of that story?”

Johnny shrugged.

“Never pick a fight with Uncle Ted…”

“…after he’s finished a case of beer.”