Kate Hudson is laying bare the secret of her blended family.

When you have three children from different men, you’re already opening yourself to widespread judgment and scrutiny. The idea that you don’t subscribe to the concept of the nuclear family still doesn’t bode well with most people — your character comes into question, your kids get shamed, and your parenting abilities are doubted at each and every turn.

But instead of taking those condemnations to heart, Kate Hudson proves that an optimistic mindset is all that’s needed to balance the needs of your complex family. Sure, there are half-siblings and step-dads to manage, but as long as everyone is clear about what their role is, you can absolutely create a loving, compassionate atmosphere for child-rearing. Kate Hudson’s positive outlook reveals a salient lesson on getting through the most frustrating of circumstances with love and nothing else.

Kate Hudson Defends Her Blended Family & Says She “Loves” Her Baby Daddies

In a candid interview with Sunday Times, the 43-year-old offers her perspective on mothering her three children, as well as the highs and lows of dealing with their respective fathers. The actress shares son Ryder with her first husband and lead singer of The Black Crowes, Chris Robinson; son Bingham with musician Matt Bellamy of Muse; and daughter Rani with actor and fiancé Danny Fujikawa.

Though this ‘messy’ scenario isn’t exactly uncommon for celebrities, it’s still rare to see someone actively enforce and normalize the matter. Kate Hudson, for her part, acknowledges that this might not seem natural to someone from the outside, but her arrangement with her three baby daddies is going exactly how she’d have hoped. “It might not look traditional from the outside, but on the inside, I feel like we’re killing it,” she said about their co-parenting efforts. “The unit that I’ve created with three children with three different fathers is a seriously strong unit, and it’s ours.”

The Glass Onion star doesn’t see this structure as something sloppy or haphazard they’ve cobbled out of an unfortunate nightmare; instead, it’s a well-defined alliance that all parties can feel proud of belonging to. At the end of the day, Hudson and her three baby daddies care about their children first and foremost, and once you have this clarity, everything else becomes relatively easy to conquer.

It also helps that her kids are of different ages and have unique requirements at any given time, meaning there is a distinct formula for parenting each child. For example, her oldest, Ryder, is currently in college and is “very happy.” Since he’s an adult, she and her ex Chris Robinson only need to check in occasionally to ensure he’s okay.

Her middle child, Bing, is 11 and needs closer supervision, but even that isn’t too much of a hassle when his both mom and dad are so wonderfully aligned. Speaking about Matt Bellamy, Bing’s father, Hudson said that she couldn’t have “asked for a better co-parent” and that there will always be a part of her that loves him. “For me, it’s like, you loved this person. That doesn’t just go away, but you can re-establish a different kind of love,” she said. As she and Bellamy are focused on the same outcome, they can get along and have an “amazing time” as ex-partners as they know what’s their first priority.

Hudson’s Own Childhood Played A Role In Her Approach

What many people might not be aware of is how Kate Hudson’s own upbringing took place in a chaotic environment. She and her older brother Oliver Hudson were children of divorce, born to actors Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson. Hawn, shortly after her divorce from Hudson, started dating actor Kurt Russell, who made such a powerful impact on their lives that both Kate and Oliver Hudson began considering him as their actual dad. Hawn and Russell never married, which added another dimension to the family’s unconventional reality. “I work really hard at relationships because I like them. My parents have done an amazing job of continuing that dance,” Hudson told the outlet. Though she faced her own share of childhood troubles and trauma, she doesn’t remotely regret how Russell and Hawn raised her; indeed, they set high standards of care and respect that she can only hope to emulate with her own offspring.

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Today, she’s engaged to be married to Danny Fujikawa, the father of her youngest, and is looking forward to expanding her family yet again in the near future. Given that she’s in her mid-forties, she doesn’t quite know how she’s going to bring her dream to fruition but adding a few more to the brood is on her agenda.

Hudson admitted that she doesn’t have “rose-colored” glasses on when it comes to adult relationships — things are messy, people break up, marriage isn’t always feasible or desirable —but as long as she is in a position to give and receive love, she is content. “My goal in life is that I want to feel love, and I want to give love, but I’m also practical, so, one day at a time,” she noted.

Hudson’s Mindset Is An Inspiration For Finding Love In Chaos

At the end of the day, tradition hardly matters if it doesn’t bring anyone any safety, peace, or satisfaction. Kate Hudson is perfectly comfortable with her current state of affairs, as odd as it might look to anyone looking in from the outside. She adores being a mother, claiming that the role has grounded her and has given her foundation for the long term.

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“The big learning period of my life and becoming a woman happened as I was being a mother. It was a choice. We wanted to have a baby and it felt instinctual,” she said. Becoming a mother in her early 20s, Hudson became immediately attached to Ryder and didn’t let him go for two years. As she’s gotten older, she’s a little more mindful about what it means to be a mother in the truest form of the word and is more “structured” when it comes to her kids. “I’m definitely more present as a mother now that I’m older. With Ryder, our relationship is so special because I grew up with him,” she said.

Knowing that Hudson didn’t have the most straightforward experience with parenthood — both as a child and a parent — she’s not keen on endorsing a ‘traditional’ idea of marriage or family to anyone. Family comes in all forms, as does love and commitment. As long as you’ve figured out a system that works for you and is built on love, there’s nothing holding you back.