A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’
What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room

‘Oh, it’s a statue,’ she replied.

‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here, have this’ he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue.

Then he said to the statue: ‘I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!!’

If you enjoyed this story, you should check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Toronto on the train.

A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas that they’d never seen before.

Each bought one.

The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.

When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across at her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

“Why not?”

…

..

.

“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

A man was Promoted to Montreal

Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!

The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?